...or coping with the strangeness that sometimes comes from engaging in that particular behaviour.
Since my birthday last week I have been suffering/enjoying vivid dreams on an almost nightly basis. Usually violent in nature (and part of the reason for my last post) but sometimes overly sexual.
A couple of them I would classify as lucid dreaming. As soon as I realize I am in an altered state, I remember I can exert control over my actions. Usually the narrative has been pretty straight forward and I feel compelled to follow the plot as I'm expected to, but once and a while it doesn't seem right so I change what's going on (from dodging knives being thrown at me to grabbing the knives and stabbing them into the ground, unfortunately I don't recall who was doing the throwing, but there a long jacket involved on their part... I can't even recall the gender).
There have been times when I have woken up in a startled state.
There have been times when I have woken up in a highly aroused states.
There have been times when I want to stay under the blanket because certain things in the world seem more horrible than they really are. As a direct result of the dream as opposed to the world being a big bad place(tm).
Maybe there is an increase in energy flow recently that is, in part, making me more susceptible to this vivid dreaming.
One more thing, I've really been enjoying the feel of water recently.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
A Box
Like last spring, I have this feeling of change coming on. In that case, I was going to be about the violent late spring, summer and autumn that Calgary was going to have. Sadly, it played out.
This time I'm not sure what it relates to. I just feel that there is something big on the horizon, it won't show it's ugly head but its fingers are gripping the edge.
I don't know if it will be personal, familial, friend-family, political or other.
The cold spell that Calgary has a made things very quiet, but with this stillness the few voices that do speak carry over great distances and very clearly.
What I "hear" is that a few of the natives are going into hiding and not just for the winter. I have no idea how to describe the natives, but the local others that most people grow accustomed to feeling around the city.
This is such a vague post, I hate that.
I'm pretty sure that whatever it is won't be sudden (at least to those who are watching). It will be a prolonged build-up and then spill over making the already nervous public more nervous.
Like a cardboard box slowly being folded and taped shut.
This time I'm not sure what it relates to. I just feel that there is something big on the horizon, it won't show it's ugly head but its fingers are gripping the edge.
I don't know if it will be personal, familial, friend-family, political or other.
The cold spell that Calgary has a made things very quiet, but with this stillness the few voices that do speak carry over great distances and very clearly.
What I "hear" is that a few of the natives are going into hiding and not just for the winter. I have no idea how to describe the natives, but the local others that most people grow accustomed to feeling around the city.
This is such a vague post, I hate that.
I'm pretty sure that whatever it is won't be sudden (at least to those who are watching). It will be a prolonged build-up and then spill over making the already nervous public more nervous.
Like a cardboard box slowly being folded and taped shut.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Inspired from the movie "Next"
Precognition
Being able to see ahead 2 minutes in time and no more (being able to evaluate the options from making choices).
A strange concept, but to me, believable. Especially if the future is mutable based on our choices. Being able to predict future events and being able to manipulate it to results that you chose instead "being a victim of circumstance".
The trick is paying attention enough to ones environment to notice the options as they open up in front of you.
From my experience, people very rarely stop and think about their options during the course of their day. And when they do, it's usually to determine what type of food to eat or what they'll use to entertain themselves. Those are very short term goals. What happens when you push through that barrier and make choices for later in the day? Is that precognition?
I usually claim it's just paying attention when I can anticipate certain individual actions from other people. Just paying attention to their patterns and making an educated guess based on the available data.
Bigger patterns are tougher to discern for me unless it's blazingly obvious.
Take in as much data as you can get your hands on and basically make a guess at an end result. Of course, with how complex our societies tend to be (and the assorted systems that out societies support), those guesses have a high rate of failure. And it's tough enough to plan for the next one when you cannot pick out the major force that influenced the last result. Minor influences cannot be discounted either (because these tend to influence people towards the major force and tip that cup over into a result).
So where does that leave us?
As confused as always.
Anyone up for a discussion?
Being able to see ahead 2 minutes in time and no more (being able to evaluate the options from making choices).
A strange concept, but to me, believable. Especially if the future is mutable based on our choices. Being able to predict future events and being able to manipulate it to results that you chose instead "being a victim of circumstance".
The trick is paying attention enough to ones environment to notice the options as they open up in front of you.
From my experience, people very rarely stop and think about their options during the course of their day. And when they do, it's usually to determine what type of food to eat or what they'll use to entertain themselves. Those are very short term goals. What happens when you push through that barrier and make choices for later in the day? Is that precognition?
I usually claim it's just paying attention when I can anticipate certain individual actions from other people. Just paying attention to their patterns and making an educated guess based on the available data.
Bigger patterns are tougher to discern for me unless it's blazingly obvious.
Take in as much data as you can get your hands on and basically make a guess at an end result. Of course, with how complex our societies tend to be (and the assorted systems that out societies support), those guesses have a high rate of failure. And it's tough enough to plan for the next one when you cannot pick out the major force that influenced the last result. Minor influences cannot be discounted either (because these tend to influence people towards the major force and tip that cup over into a result).
So where does that leave us?
As confused as always.
Anyone up for a discussion?
Thursday, September 4, 2008
The Triangle (movie)
Last Tuesday, Space started to broadcast the three part series The Triangle. It had been something I had meant to see back in 2005 when it originally aired.
In part because of Catherine Bell, Eric Stoltz, Sam Neill (actors I enjoy watching) and in part because I was intrigued by the director, Bryan Singer (the first two X-Men movies).
While I have had a passing interesting in the Bermuda Triangle over the years, it has never really held a long term focus for me. I guess I find it a bit too... subjective ...and I figure that things yet lost all off the time in the ocean. What brings me back around to the triangle on occasion is that I find it intriguing that there is one specific area that ships, boats and planes (and the people that go with them) seem to disappear and that there is radar logs that seem to back them up.
I do remember vividly back in grade eight, that my science teacher has cut outs from the National Enquirer regarding Flight 19. I remember staring at it and just wondering.
Maybe I was bored in that class.
But anyways...
While watching this mini series, it is postulated that maybe the triangle is a home to wormholes and other dimensions.
Other dimensions are strange to me.
Intellectually I can see them having a purpose in the universe (at least mathematically). But I seem to have a problem believing the casual interaction between the dimension I inhabit and other ones. I suppose that's one reason why they call it exotic.
This leads me to think about where I consider other beasties to come from and what the Mayan's meant by spiritual transformation in 2012. I'm pretty sure that time (as I understand it) will always continue forward in a linear manner (or more accurately that we will continue to measure it going forward because we like to impose some sense of order to the universe, even if we aren't 100% sure that the way we're doing it is correct).
Back to beasties. I suspect that they are still from "our" dimension. Why can't we detect them with our usual five senses? Hell if I know, I'm just "happy" that I get a feeling of "them" once and while and make some sort of interpretation of it without being too "mad" in the process.
For some reason, I'm feeling more apprehensive about Dec. 21st 2012 more than I have about other dates. It seems useless to plan that far ahead, but maybe I'm just feeling nervous about the future in general given what's going on. I still hope to pull off an end of the world / birthday party that year.
I am at odds with something more personal though.
I'm having a very tough time accepting what I seem to do on a regular basis (observe and predict) and how I should feel about it. I could just be lucky.
In part because of Catherine Bell, Eric Stoltz, Sam Neill (actors I enjoy watching) and in part because I was intrigued by the director, Bryan Singer (the first two X-Men movies).
While I have had a passing interesting in the Bermuda Triangle over the years, it has never really held a long term focus for me. I guess I find it a bit too... subjective ...and I figure that things yet lost all off the time in the ocean. What brings me back around to the triangle on occasion is that I find it intriguing that there is one specific area that ships, boats and planes (and the people that go with them) seem to disappear and that there is radar logs that seem to back them up.
I do remember vividly back in grade eight, that my science teacher has cut outs from the National Enquirer regarding Flight 19. I remember staring at it and just wondering.
Maybe I was bored in that class.
But anyways...
While watching this mini series, it is postulated that maybe the triangle is a home to wormholes and other dimensions.
Other dimensions are strange to me.
Intellectually I can see them having a purpose in the universe (at least mathematically). But I seem to have a problem believing the casual interaction between the dimension I inhabit and other ones. I suppose that's one reason why they call it exotic.
This leads me to think about where I consider other beasties to come from and what the Mayan's meant by spiritual transformation in 2012. I'm pretty sure that time (as I understand it) will always continue forward in a linear manner (or more accurately that we will continue to measure it going forward because we like to impose some sense of order to the universe, even if we aren't 100% sure that the way we're doing it is correct).
Back to beasties. I suspect that they are still from "our" dimension. Why can't we detect them with our usual five senses? Hell if I know, I'm just "happy" that I get a feeling of "them" once and while and make some sort of interpretation of it without being too "mad" in the process.
For some reason, I'm feeling more apprehensive about Dec. 21st 2012 more than I have about other dates. It seems useless to plan that far ahead, but maybe I'm just feeling nervous about the future in general given what's going on. I still hope to pull off an end of the world / birthday party that year.
I am at odds with something more personal though.
I'm having a very tough time accepting what I seem to do on a regular basis (observe and predict) and how I should feel about it. I could just be lucky.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Weird incidents in Calgary: January (part one)
Part the on-going strangeness going on in Calgary. This just part one and will be edited again once I find links to the proper news articles regarding them.
Suspicious Death 1900 block 49 Avenue SW (update)
SERIOUS PEDESTRIAN TRAFFIC COLLISION
Assault with a Weapon
Police vehicle collision at 14 St x 12 Ave SW
HOME INVASION TYPE ROBBERY - BRAESIDE
Driver of motorcycle in critical condition
HOME INVASION TYPE OF ROBBERY - 2008 JANUARY 5
SEEKING PUBLIC ASSISTANCE (update)
Pedestrian / C-Train collision
SUSPICIOUS DEATH (update)
Airport Incident, Emergency call at Calgary Airport (Update on Incident at Calgary Airport, Update to Airport Emergency Response)
SUSPICIOUS DEATH
Suspicious Death 1900 block 49 Avenue SW (update)
SERIOUS PEDESTRIAN TRAFFIC COLLISION
Assault with a Weapon
Police vehicle collision at 14 St x 12 Ave SW
HOME INVASION TYPE ROBBERY - BRAESIDE
Driver of motorcycle in critical condition
HOME INVASION TYPE OF ROBBERY - 2008 JANUARY 5
SEEKING PUBLIC ASSISTANCE (update)
Pedestrian / C-Train collision
SUSPICIOUS DEATH (update)
Airport Incident, Emergency call at Calgary Airport (Update on Incident at Calgary Airport, Update to Airport Emergency Response)
SUSPICIOUS DEATH
Monday, July 21, 2008
Possible CAT podcast idea.
Apocalypse Now?
Urban post-apocalyptic survival
Rural post-apocalyptic survival
How did the apocalypse happen?
No zombies, fuck you.
Communities or Gangs?
Electricity?
Fuel?
Crossbows!
The ideal place to re-establish oneself
The printing press or indoor plumbing for everyone (first things first for re-establishing civilization)?
Urban post-apocalyptic survival
Rural post-apocalyptic survival
How did the apocalypse happen?
No zombies, fuck you.
Communities or Gangs?
Electricity?
Fuel?
Crossbows!
The ideal place to re-establish oneself
The printing press or indoor plumbing for everyone (first things first for re-establishing civilization)?
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
A strange walk...
Yesterday upon the stair
I saw a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today
Oh how I wish he’d go away.
Lately I've been thinking about ghosts and ghost stories. I've been thinking about they are found in every culture around our planet. Admittedly, I've always had an interesting in that particular aspect of the super natural (and through this particular entry, I hope to explore that fascination a bit more).
One of my first memories of Junior High, I was exploring the school library and I was thrilled to find the Time Life series on the enchanted world hiding there. Well, not so much as hiding, but being displayed a bit early with Halloween coming up. I was also thrilled because the commercials for that series were airing on television quite a bit at the time. So, that started me on the path of showing up for school early to get into the library as early as possible to pick up one of the slick looking books (and to get one of the comfortable seats). By the way, this showing up early would turn in to a life long habit of arriving at events and meetings early. It started to aide me in helping me focus on the up-coming event/meeting and day. Nowadays, I even show up to work early to grab breakfast and read. Some people would call that a sickness, but I find it a helpful routine to sort out some of the details of the day in my head.
It was toss up between ghosts and vampires as to which of the two topics help my rapt more often. Over time, ghosts won out. They seem more real to me, then and now. While I won't dismiss the possibility of other super natural beasties roam the landscape, my experiences have lead me to put more faith in ghosts than others most of the time. Most of the time.
One of the reasons that ghosts appeal to me is that they just seem natural.
We know that death is a part of life. And no matter what one thinks of death, we know that happens. What happens after death, well... that fuels a lot of versions of spirituality (and religion). At this point, I should clarify that by using the term ghost, I refer to supernatural entities that are not defined as demons, angels or other monsters. Doppelgaengers, phantasms, spooks, wraiths, lost souls... those can be included in my broad strokes of the usage ghost.
I should also point out, that I figure that ghosts and the haunting that they do, are not always malicious in their intent. I think they can be confused as to their surroundings and as a part of that, they doing things that are not always in line with our normal day to day lives. However, given that we are also beasts of many faces and attitudes, ghosts can reflect almost any temperament we can achieve.
I'm also not sure that I consider ghosts to be scary. The situations that we encounter them in definitely influence our psychology and our interpretation of what's going on, but I'm not sure that they themselves are scary. This could just be the way I "see" them. Or, don't see them. I tend to feel something different in the area and do a quick series of tests to figure out what I'm feeling. Ghosts tend to be the most responsive/communicative. I have experiences sudden and localized drops in temperature and I've "heard" voices that could not be explained away by the people around me (or the location I was in). After that, my personal experiences dwindle. I'm fairly convinced that we can record ghost voices (EVP), but the samples I've heard that I believe were of other origin are rare. Our brains are very good at finding patterns in chaos. We also like to label stuff to make ourselves feel comfortable in the world.
Okay, so what is a ghost?
As per my exclusions above, I believe that ghosts were once living people (and animals ... no soul discussions are necessary for me). Living people who are dead and who are now "living" on Earth. They can wander from location to location or be grounded/tied to once specific place. More often than not, are tied to a place they are "comfortable" with. What do ghosts do? They usually have a routine that they get into, but strangely enough, they also react to what's going on around them. It doesn't usually alter their routine, but it their reactions usually more of mood swing. Tied to a habit and when some outsider tries to mess with them, they can be put off. I'm sure you readers can relate.
Why have ghosts been on my mind recently? I'm still not too sure. Maybe it's me trying to go back to comfortable topics as I deal with other changes. Maybe.
Ghost resources that I would recommend. Hans Holzer has kept my attention throughout the years. Sometimes a bit too detached when he recounts his own experiences. The Most Haunted team has intriguing to watch (even if some of the cast are more excitable than others and their success record is suspect).
I haven't really read much on the web about ghosts. Mainly, due to the lack of finding credible people to read. I might be skeptical about an individual account, but if I cannot put even the smallest amount of trust in whomever is telling the story, I'll have a tough time getting through even the smallest of stories.
Speaking of stories, I lean towards reading the non-fiction ghost accounts rather than ghost horror stories. Generally, I don't like horror anything anyways... so that kind of drives a nail into that genre for me. I have recently enjoyed some short ghost stories by Joe Hill, so maybe there's hope still.
I think that's enough for tonight. Tune in next week.
Oh, if you're wondering about the first lines in this post. It's from the poem Antigonish by Hughes Mearns, one of the few poems that is almost constantly in my consciousness.
Sleep tight.
I saw a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today
Oh how I wish he’d go away.
Lately I've been thinking about ghosts and ghost stories. I've been thinking about they are found in every culture around our planet. Admittedly, I've always had an interesting in that particular aspect of the super natural (and through this particular entry, I hope to explore that fascination a bit more).
One of my first memories of Junior High, I was exploring the school library and I was thrilled to find the Time Life series on the enchanted world hiding there. Well, not so much as hiding, but being displayed a bit early with Halloween coming up. I was also thrilled because the commercials for that series were airing on television quite a bit at the time. So, that started me on the path of showing up for school early to get into the library as early as possible to pick up one of the slick looking books (and to get one of the comfortable seats). By the way, this showing up early would turn in to a life long habit of arriving at events and meetings early. It started to aide me in helping me focus on the up-coming event/meeting and day. Nowadays, I even show up to work early to grab breakfast and read. Some people would call that a sickness, but I find it a helpful routine to sort out some of the details of the day in my head.
It was toss up between ghosts and vampires as to which of the two topics help my rapt more often. Over time, ghosts won out. They seem more real to me, then and now. While I won't dismiss the possibility of other super natural beasties roam the landscape, my experiences have lead me to put more faith in ghosts than others most of the time. Most of the time.
One of the reasons that ghosts appeal to me is that they just seem natural.
We know that death is a part of life. And no matter what one thinks of death, we know that happens. What happens after death, well... that fuels a lot of versions of spirituality (and religion). At this point, I should clarify that by using the term ghost, I refer to supernatural entities that are not defined as demons, angels or other monsters. Doppelgaengers, phantasms, spooks, wraiths, lost souls... those can be included in my broad strokes of the usage ghost.
I should also point out, that I figure that ghosts and the haunting that they do, are not always malicious in their intent. I think they can be confused as to their surroundings and as a part of that, they doing things that are not always in line with our normal day to day lives. However, given that we are also beasts of many faces and attitudes, ghosts can reflect almost any temperament we can achieve.
I'm also not sure that I consider ghosts to be scary. The situations that we encounter them in definitely influence our psychology and our interpretation of what's going on, but I'm not sure that they themselves are scary. This could just be the way I "see" them. Or, don't see them. I tend to feel something different in the area and do a quick series of tests to figure out what I'm feeling. Ghosts tend to be the most responsive/communicative. I have experiences sudden and localized drops in temperature and I've "heard" voices that could not be explained away by the people around me (or the location I was in). After that, my personal experiences dwindle. I'm fairly convinced that we can record ghost voices (EVP), but the samples I've heard that I believe were of other origin are rare. Our brains are very good at finding patterns in chaos. We also like to label stuff to make ourselves feel comfortable in the world.
Okay, so what is a ghost?
As per my exclusions above, I believe that ghosts were once living people (and animals ... no soul discussions are necessary for me). Living people who are dead and who are now "living" on Earth. They can wander from location to location or be grounded/tied to once specific place. More often than not, are tied to a place they are "comfortable" with. What do ghosts do? They usually have a routine that they get into, but strangely enough, they also react to what's going on around them. It doesn't usually alter their routine, but it their reactions usually more of mood swing. Tied to a habit and when some outsider tries to mess with them, they can be put off. I'm sure you readers can relate.
Why have ghosts been on my mind recently? I'm still not too sure. Maybe it's me trying to go back to comfortable topics as I deal with other changes. Maybe.
Ghost resources that I would recommend. Hans Holzer has kept my attention throughout the years. Sometimes a bit too detached when he recounts his own experiences. The Most Haunted team has intriguing to watch (even if some of the cast are more excitable than others and their success record is suspect).
I haven't really read much on the web about ghosts. Mainly, due to the lack of finding credible people to read. I might be skeptical about an individual account, but if I cannot put even the smallest amount of trust in whomever is telling the story, I'll have a tough time getting through even the smallest of stories.
Speaking of stories, I lean towards reading the non-fiction ghost accounts rather than ghost horror stories. Generally, I don't like horror anything anyways... so that kind of drives a nail into that genre for me. I have recently enjoyed some short ghost stories by Joe Hill, so maybe there's hope still.
I think that's enough for tonight. Tune in next week.
Oh, if you're wondering about the first lines in this post. It's from the poem Antigonish by Hughes Mearns, one of the few poems that is almost constantly in my consciousness.
Sleep tight.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Pattern Recognition
Don't you just love it when you notice a lull in the conversation and the clock reads twenty past the hour(or twenty to the hour)? Or when your trying to get to sleep and the clock reads 11:11? Or my particular favourite is noticing 23's in popular media.
Could it be a simple matter of casual observation that gets caught up in some sort of loop?
Based on my observations, if you can see the patterns, you're probably just interested in keeping your mind active while other things are going on.
Make of that what you will.
Could it be a simple matter of casual observation that gets caught up in some sort of loop?
Based on my observations, if you can see the patterns, you're probably just interested in keeping your mind active while other things are going on.
Make of that what you will.
What? Again? Oh No.
Yes, the name may look a bit familiar. And now that times have changed, I thought it would be good to revitalize it. A breath of fresh air in an otherwise stagnant landscape of spiritual / emotional / personal / mental growth.
So, what's going to happen now?
First: Re-post the initial Cognition Abuse Therapy podcasts.
Second: Post the reviews I think that are relevant from Books.Kawphy
Third: Plot out new Cognition Abuse Therapy shows (with or without 444)
Four: Post my thoughts on some of the strangeness I'm observing in the world.
Five: [item deleted - mod.]
And with that, I welcome you back to Cognition Abuse Therapy.
If you have a request for a show or want clarification on previous shows (or comments in general), feel free to email me the following address: e [dot] vondran [at] gmail [dot] com.
So, what's going to happen now?
First: Re-post the initial Cognition Abuse Therapy podcasts.
Second: Post the reviews I think that are relevant from Books.Kawphy
Third: Plot out new Cognition Abuse Therapy shows (with or without 444)
Four: Post my thoughts on some of the strangeness I'm observing in the world.
Five: [item deleted - mod.]
And with that, I welcome you back to Cognition Abuse Therapy.
If you have a request for a show or want clarification on previous shows (or comments in general), feel free to email me the following address: e [dot] vondran [at] gmail [dot] com.
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